Keane Squares Off with the Mystery of Onana Missing…
Ladies and gentle-kickers, it’s a footy circus, and Roy Keane, our grand ringmaster, is up to his neck in drama again! The indomitable goalkeeper Andre Onana seems to have donned his magic vanishing cape — Abra Onana! Poof! Dropped from Manchester United’s travel sketch to St. James’ Park like a hot potato! His absence from tackling Newcastle has more eyebrows raised than a center forward’s paycheck negotiation!
Roy Keane, master of the roaring critique, claims Ruben Amorim’s made a brave-ish call. In a move more daring than a penguin juggling flaming fish, Onana took a tumble for his slippery gloves against Lyon. His audacious flub-eroo antics triggered a snazzy equalizer for Lyon, embarrassingly jiggling more than a Bavarian custard during a quake. But hold onto your brollies, folks — Keane just dishes it out straight: if the net whisperer messes up, expect bench-warming weather.
Altay Bayindir, the newbie extraordinaire, is penciled in for goal-guarding festivities at Newcastle. Will he stand like a wall or tumble like a deck of cards in a windstorm? Only the football gods and an old Womble oracle know his fate! Meanwhile, Onana’s sitting out, recharging like a tired cellphone. Roy’s waiting to see if this gamble will pay out in footy tickets or a head-scratcher of a bingo card. Tune in, goal-judgers, the ball is swirling in the magical land of footies and fables!
