The Goalkeeper Pickle at Old Trafford…
Oh dear! Andre Onana might vanish like a football magician’s vanishing trick for up to 10 Manchester United games, thanks to his rather generous donation of gaffes to the goalkeeping blooper reel! Picture this: dropped like an overcooked pancake against Newcastle, only to rise like a souffle against Lyon with a redemption song that had the crowds doing the Macarena in disbelief! Now the wizard Amorim’s torn like a child choosing a superhero — should he invest in a £60m guardian of the goal or stick with Onana’s unpredictable spell-casting, now that’s the golden goalie conundrum!
While the Cameroonian conjurer hasn’t exactly charmed the fans with his disappearing act in the African Cup of Nations scheduling shuffle, it’s like Father Christmas took a holiday to Morocco, snatching premier players for a high-stakes football fiesta from December 21 to January 18. Oh, the festive season turned into a goalkeeping rollercoaster faster than you can say “Corner Kick!” And with Ben Foster wailing on his Fozcast about needing a money mountain, Old Trafford might just turn into Camelot in search of the Holy Grail of goalies!
Meanwhile, Onana’s travel woes are more dramatic than a soap opera — think delayed flights, angry legends, and an entire federation on tenterhooks! Missing the 2023 opening match for Cameroon was like arriving to a party after everyone’s left, only to find Togo’s legend Adebayor wagging a football-finger, “No respect,” he says. Oh, Onana’s international adventures are as infamous as a soap-opera plot twist, and the fans are ready with popcorn, wondering which play he’ll make next!
