Marcus Rashford: The Return of the Red Phoenix…
Marcus Rashford is tiptoeing back to Manchester United’s pre-season like a cat burglar sneaking into a dog show! Despite last season’s dramatic fallout with gaffer Ruben “El Tactico” Amorim, where Rashford was benched against their very own city rivals, the winger finds himself possibly rekindling his love affair with the Red Devils come Monday. Ale Garnacho flew back into the lineup faster than a pigeon zooming towards a dropped chip, but Rashford was left twiddling thumbs in the stands. Sent packing to Aston Villa on a grand adventure, Rashford’s form was like tea without the biscuits: promising yet incomplete.
In the wild west of the Midlands, Rashford showed more than a glimpse of the old magic before an injury had him sitting like a monk at a noise ordinance rally. Now Barcelona’s whispering sweet nothings in Rashford’s ear, but their piggy bank is as tight as a tube at rush hour — no bids yet! Meanwhile, Bayern’s been peeking over the fence, wondering if Rashford could be their next schnitzel. But as the pre-preseason jitters set in, United’s brass is still humming to the tune of “Sell-Athon” with Rashford’s name boldly in the mix.
Rashford, apparently springier than a trampoline in a hailstorm, is set to crash back into Carrington, ready to dazzle manager Amorim like a disco ball in a blackout. The ball’s up in the air, and its destination? As uncertain as a hedgehog at a roundabout. Although United’s got itchy trigger fingers ready to sell, Rashford might just hit them with the ol’ “watch this space” if he’s given a chance to shine brighter than a stadium floodlight. Stay tuned, dear fans, as the plot thickens faster than porridge on a cold morning!
