United’s Comedy of Errors in Lyon…
In the electrifying comedy double act that is Manchester United, Thursday night served up a rib-tickler for the ages in Lyon. The red-shirted honchos managed a rollicking 2-2 draw against Les Gones, leaving fans with more questions than answers and a whole buffet of nail-biting for the second leg. Onana, the human sieve, starred in this European vaudeville, gifting a howler of a goal to Thiago Almada’s free-kick trick-shot special. The crowd barely recovered from guffaws when Cherki pounced on yet another Onana stuff-up in the 95th minute — a classic slapstick encore.
Samuel Luckhurst, the chief jester at the Manchester Evening News, could hardly believe his eyes as Onana tumbled through his performance, earning a laughable two points out of ten from critics. But this was no solo farce, as French football gladiator guide L’Equipe stooped even lower, pointing a comedic finger at young Rasmus Hojlund. From hero to zero faster than a Wayne Rooney hair transplant, Hojlund scored a wet fish of a 2/10 — all he needed was a ball and chain for his three jubilantly misplaced passes.
While boy wonder Bruno Fernandes pirouetted his way to an 8/10, hope fell faster than a diving center-half at Old Trafford. Leny Yoro, the young gun who did land some prestige with a 6/10, stood out like a rare diamond in a coal mine of calamity. As the beleaguered Red Devils await the second stanza back on home turf, the soap opera that is Manchester United continues, promising more banana peels and pratfalls in next week’s football circus at Old Trafford. Will they pull a rabbit out of the hat, or trip over their own laces once more? Stay tuned, football fans!
