Five Frenzied Fables from the Vitality Battleground…
In a football fable where the Red Devils are galloping towards their first bottom-half finish in over three decades, Manchester United find themselves at the seaside circus called Bournemouth. While the Premier League might’ve been the plot twist no one saw coming, today’s match is the grand halftime before their Europa League tango with Athletic Bilbao. Momentum is a precious football fruit, and boy, does United need a barrel! In the theatre of the absurd, Bournemouth boast a stadium that seats more genteel folks than a mouse-sized opera house, yet they currently outshine United – unbeaten in three face-offs!
Today’s shindig offers a sneak peek at the Ibiza rave, I mean, lineup for Bilbao – with more twists than a Cristiano Ronaldo nutmeg. Harry Maguire and Casemiro, those bench-warming legends against Wolves, may lead the gladiatorial charge. And after more stretches on the sideline than a yoga class, is it Mason Mount’s moment to mystify the south coast crowd? With a card collection rivaling a poker game, Mount’s affection in Amorim’s eyes could sway in the glittering sands of Brentford.
And speaking of crowd-pleasers, Luke Shaw’s magical mystery tour has him waiting in the wings, while he’s left Luton Town watching from the football wilderness. With Bournemouth hungry for their first-ever double-shot victory celebration dance, United are teetering about as consistently as a juggler at a clown convention. One more defeat would tie them with the ghost of 1989-90’s record. Unless the Red Devils pull a rabbit, or perhaps a fiery demon, from their hat, it could be an illusion of grandest proportions if they escape a trip hazard-free from the Vitality stage!
