Wayne Wants Wall-Like De Gea Return!…
Holy Guacamole! Wayne “Rampaging Rhino” Rooney has turned the football world on its head by urging Manchester United to bring back the great wall himself, David De Gea! Yes, folks, you heard it right! While newbie Andre Onana’s been crafting his own blooper reel this season, Rooney’s suggestion is that United flick on the Bat-Signal for their former net-stopping superhero! Watch out, errors beware!
Andre Onana, the man with the gloves that seem to be made of soap this season, was caught having a nap during a big deal clash, leading to an awkward goalie swap with Altay Bayindir. Spoiler alert: Bayindir’s performance against Newcastle was as wobbly as a jelly on a rollercoaster. Coach Ruben Amorim, probably pulling his hair out like a cartoon character caught in a whirlwind, wants a backup goalie for next season. Options? Hmm, could Onana’s cat wrangling competition give any leads?
Wayne “Dynamo” Rooney, the man who redefines the phrase ‘big ideas,’ reckons United ought to airlift back the seasoned De Gea. Staring into his crystal ball on Amazon Prime Sport, he firmly declared that United are missing De Gea more than a fish misses water! Meanwhile, current Fiorentina president drools over De Gea’s contribution like a chef over a perfect spaghetti. What United will do next is anyone’s guess, but Rooney’s wish has surely thrown a banana peel on the Old Trafford pitch.
