The Footballer’s Futile Foray into Real Estate…
Roy Keane, Manchester United’s midfield marvel turned TV talking tornado, is trying to ditch his dream pad in Hale faster than a winger on roller skates! While the fiery Irishman envisions sipping Swiss hot chocolate at sunset, his magnificent manor, that’s bigger than a football pitch, stands like a keeper blocking his freedom. With antics that could have you howling more than his Sky Sports critiques, this lavish mansion is clinging on to him tighter than a defender’s grip in the penalty box!
Once a jungle of home improvements, Keane’s palatial pad was a literal field of dreams, listed at £9.5 million. Pulled the rabbit out of a hat to no avail though! Even after a drastic price cut to £6.45 million, his mega mansion remains unsold and more stubborn than a referee in extra time. Now, with luxury lounging softballing through snooker tables and tennis courts, this house has more bells and whistles than a Christmas parade. Yet, not a single beanbag-toting billionaire has bitten the bait!
Roy’s not planning to chatter from the commentating couch forever, with dreams of a tranquil Swiss escape on the horizon. But until this Hale castle files its transfer papers, Keane remains tethered in footie suburbia, a wooden shoe amongst the red cards and roaring fans. When this property game ends, we pray there’s a successful penalty kick waiting in the wings, perhaps with a bonus Swiss fondue in the retirement package!
