Red Devils Roasted by Toon Army…
It was a bonkers day at St James’ Park where Manchester United got roasted like marshmallows at a campfire, 4-1 by Newcastle United! First, Sandro ‘Strike Like Thor’s Hammer’ Tonali hammered one in at 24 minutes. Then Alejandro ‘The Ninja’ Garnacho responded with a goal that was cooler than the other side of the pillow. It was nip and tuck till the pies ran out at halftime.
But post tea break, United’s defense was more leaky than an old cricket mat! Harvey ‘Double Trouble’ Barnes slipped past them not once, but twice, like an eel in oil, leaving Altay Bayindir scratching his head and hunting for his gloves. A blunder of epic proportions — worthy of its own blooper reel — saw Bruno Guimarães do the merry samba dance into the net with a cheeky fourth, turning the Toon’s fans into a chorus line!
Adding insult to injury, Joshua Zirkzee pulled a body twang less than ten minutes after the second half cue. Meanwhile, a furious Ruben Amorim, looking like a cartoon character blowing steam, criticized his troops for collapsing faster than a house of cards in the wind!
