Gyokeres to United: Transfer Talk Turbocharged!…
Manchester United, aka the Red Devils on a striker ghost hunt, are reportedly whispering sweet nothings into the ears of Sporting’s own goal-machine, Viktor Gyokeres. This towering Swede has been hammering home goals like Thor with a brand-new hammer! After blasting in 97 goals in a meerkat-quick 102 matches since his Coventry catapult to Liga Portugal, he’s made defenders look like headless chickens zigzagging all over the pitch.
Our super-sleuth journo Fabrizio Romano, armed with his trusty rumor-finding monocle, reports that United’s brass has been on the blower to Gyokeres’ entourage — presumably to ask if he prefers cups of tea in Manc or Lisbon’s lattes. Despite Champions League football dangling like a carrot in front of a hungry rabbit, United might need to up their charm offensive since they’ve been kicked out of the competition quicker than you can say “goal drought.”
As it stands, the Reds are snowed under with goal-scoring stress, netting a paltry 42 times in the Premier League. They’ve been sent into transfer Toontown after missing out on Ipswich’s starlet, Liam Delap — who’s doing his goal dance over at Chelsea. As United furrow their brows and scratch their chins, Gyokeres’ 39 goals and 8 assists in just 33 performances might just be the golden boot they need to stomp on next season’s competition!
