The Great Mancunian Stalemate Saga…
Once upon a time in the land of meatballs and IKEA, Manchester United and Leeds United engaged in a football game so unforgettable that nobody actually remembers it! As predictable as a referee’s costume change, they both kicked the ball around and kept a spotless record on each other’s scoreboards. It was a spectacle akin to watching paint dry from the comfort of your own napsack!
On the bright side for the Red Giants, the Brazilliant Matheus Cunha was busy doing magic tricks all over the field. He sprinted like a caffeinated cheetah and dazzled with visions only psychics would comprehend. Rumor has it that his dribbling could part the Red Sea on a good day. Meanwhile, at the not-so-spotted end, Tom Heaton was doing cartwheels just to save the day and give Altay Bayindir something to chew on back home.
Whispers around the watering holes lauded young Bendito Mantato for getting a jersey number as he flapped his wings on the wing like a canary in a coal mine. Meanwhile, Casemiro was enjoying his Swedish vacation with an invisible cloak, and Rasmus Hojlund realized he better kick balls more than just cans down the road. Oh, and Mason Mount? He’s a magician too, but his Houdini act’s been on pause thanks to some untimely injuries. Better luck stateside, lads!
