A £67 Million Pound Dutch Dynamo Dance…
Ladies and gents, fasten your shin pads, because we’ve got the transfer saga to end all sagas, starring none other than football’s very own flying Dutchman, Xavi Simons! Like a thrilling round of musical chairs, he’s set to leap out of the RB Leipzig carousel just as soon as someone waves a cheque for a breezy £67 million! The fine chaps at Leipzig, ever keen on the art of fine profits, have got their calculators out, and let Slipstream Simons chase his Champions League dream if the price is right.
Once courted by Manchester United like a majestic swan caught in a midfield love triangle, Simons has been lighting up the Bundesliga like a Christmas tree on turbo mode. You see, dear aficionados, he left the grounds of PSG behind, traded Parisian breadsticks for some German bratwurst and scored himself a permanent gig at Leipzig for the bargain price of £42m plus extras. With 10 goals and 8 assists in his footballing pocket this season, Simons clearly has the golden touch. Rumour has it, United, with their youthful zest and ambition bursting like soda pop, might just bring out the chequebook again.
Ah, but there’s a twist! Simons, not just content being a mere mortal, had a mighty stumble when handed the captain’s armband, looking a bit like a squirrel trying to figure out a roundabout. Interim coach Zsolt Low had a chinwag with him about captaincy masala ahead of the German clash with Eintracht Frankfurt, but alas, young Simons was more deer in headlights than lion in command. Still, who amongst us hasn’t preferred chasing dreams over dealing with armbands? Maybe Old Trafford’s bright lights will be a different ball game altogether. Tune in next time to see if the Red Devils swoop in with cape and contract in hand!
