The Mystery of the Invisible Footballer…

Folks, gather ’round for the dramatic escape tale of Zidane Iqbal from the enchanted fortress of Old Trafford! Our hero, once a dazzling shooting star from the distant galaxy of Manchester United, felt as out of place as a penguin in the desert when his football maestro Erik ten Hag played the ol’ switcheroo and kept him on the bench against Charlton Athletic. It was a game where Zidane was supposed to shine brighter than a disco ball at a ’70s party but alas, the whiteboard forgot his name!

The ghost of football futures had shown Zidane all the right signs! Pre-match visions with shapes, patterns, and even team cosmonaut Lisandro Martinez whispering warrior chants in his ear. The team was ready to rumble, chanting “Zidane! Zidane!” like a cult of enthusiastic drum majors. But the rude awakening came when Zidane found himself sitting there like a forgotten meat pie, waiting to be munched on, his folks and pals with tickets to witness his glory left hanging like washing on a cold, rainy day.

Fast forward, Zizou is now dazzling in the Dutch delight of FC Utrecht, dancing around defenders like they’re doing the Macarena on slippery banana peels. The lad’s already accumulated 40 appearances — yep, forty, not four — with his trusty boots, even scribbling his name on the scoresheet once. So, here’s to new beginnings and bench-free careers. Bye-bye, bench despair; hello, dizzying football flair!